After six years of marvelling, laughing and complaining about the country I live in, not to mention occasionally getting paid for writing about it, I thought it would be good to share the love.

Because Belgium is a good place. It is full of tolerance, and cultural openness, cutting edge fashion, nice foods and leafy green spaces. It is also, and principally, absolutely and completely fucking mad.

Things You Only  Get in Belgium:

A national emblem peeing beer.

Stéphane Bern in medieval dress on the Grand-Place, announcing the arrival of a woman sitting in a horse drawn cage with a pigeon on her knee.

Men jousting with a giant papier-mâché dragon that looks like a morbidly obese crocodile.

Men swallowing live goldfish then throwing pretzels into the watching crowds.

A man dressed as a jester throwing plush cats off a belfry.

The Post Office telling you it has run out of stamps.

A giant blue brain hovering over Brussels.

Eurocrats in Mexican wrestling masks.

Zwarte Piet/Père Fouettard wandering around the FNAC browsing CDs.

Welcome to Belgium. Whether you live here, or you’re planning a visit, welcome to a world of discombobulation.

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